Well my dears while others are putting on their glad rags and boarding the jäger train I myself am getting ready to go rest my head and escape into the land of dreams where my Prince Charming awaits. Been an alright day nothing exciting Hammers played against Man City which i couldn’t watch as it was on ESPN channel so it was keeping up to date via Facebook commentary thanks to my hammer pals lol, best part of the day being the kids coming back home, I tell you something when the kids get in life is restored once again in this house it’s awful when they’re not here its too quite, lonely and dull!
I’ve just been listening to Ushers Bedtime it’s from the album My Way, I absolutely adore Usher my favourite singer I was gutted when I couldn’t go to his concert maybe next time he comes over. It’s such a lovely song with some beautiful lyrics got me all emotional again but in a good way, me and my emotional states lol 🙂 (click link to go to the video)
Anyways need to get an early one I’m off to the hood that is Lewisham tomorrow to see the family sure enough mum is gonna cook something nice so yea I’ll blog it up tomorrow oh and here’s an updated picture of me! Not bad for an old girl ey if I must say so myself 🙂 … Nighty night.
So what’s the koo for today then? Well started off with watching a really good movie called STUPID CRAZY LOVE.. Now I’m no fan of chick flicks or Rom coms I’m more into psychological thrillers but when I saw that the very funny Steve Carell was in this movie I had to watch it and to be fair it didn’t disappoint, mixed up emotions one minute I was laughing my head off next I was crying like a soppy teenager and I totally loved the twist towards the end of the film I definitely recommend a watch.
As you all know I’ve been suffering with my back pain and not been out the house for a week but finally today I put my face on (get to my age and that’s a must) and went out to the local shopping centre, no intentions of buying anything just a wonder around bit of fresh air and all that jazz so just now got in and chilling out waiting for my jacket potato to cook! That’s it really nothing exciting to report apart from blocking an old “friend” from Facebook that I said goodbye to over a year ago and decides to come back for unknown reasons?? Idiot! When we want to put an end to any sort of relationship we make sure we block any form of communication but when we want that relationship to stay around all communications stay open.. That I will talk about another time my dear friends but for now I can hear my spud calling. 🙂
And what? When your a parent and the weekend is fast approaching or on us unfortunately it makes no difference whatsoever! Everyday seems to be the same old routine so whilst others are jumping in joy and shouting hallelujah it’s Friday let’s get our party on us mothers and fathers sit back in an unemotional state and deal with yet another mundane boring Friday and saturday night in front of the box whilst the kids are running around screaming and shouting mainly at each other. Alright maybe sometimes it’s not as bad as that, like tonight the kids are staying over at their dads so one would think I’d be getting all excited for some Friday night frolics down the local club with lads half my age that only want a blow job at the back of the bins lol (I’m not talking from experience by the way lol) or a quick how’s ya father back at my place cos I’m a woman with a house! Lol that is no way on the agenda, for me I’m preferring to stay in cook myself a nice meal which will be stuffed chicken breast and couscous whilst watching something from the sky on demand film collection then maybe an early night, I would absolutely love some male company I’d even cook for them (cos I’m cool like that) but no such luck at the moment they’re either snuggled up with girlfriends and wives or single lads that just want sex and that’s it, so for now until the love of my life decides to join me, tonight dinner and DVD for one is the plan.
I realised today that I don’t actually update my Facebook status as much as I use to, you could guarantee that in one day there would be at least 15 updates maybe more which annoyed the hell out of some people and entertained others especially when it was quite xrated stuff lol but lately I’ve kept quite I feel like I’ve lost my sparkle my sense of fun which could be down to all sorts of reasons mainly it being emotionally linked to the male kind!
I get to a point sometimes that I just want to hide not share anything with the world and escape into my own inner world I feel safe there where I Won’t get hurt by nasty horrible self centred shallow small minded people. People that know me well know that when I go quite there’s usually something not quite right as I’m such an extrovert outspoken happy go lucky woman but like I say lately I’ve felt the need to just keep myself to myself until the time is right to shine again.
Wow well what a day it’s been an absolute rollercoaster but I’ve dealt with it best way I can. Can’t really go into details as much as I want too as some stuff needs to stay private but I’ll just say this some people change and some people don’t that’s life and we just need to accept it. At long last the back is nearly fully recovered but I think the emotional stress of the day has taken its toll and I’m now sat on the sofa burning up with a temperature, if its not one thing it’s another but hey such is life. Tomorrow night the kids are staying over their dads house so plan for me is a night in and early bed as from next week I put my party shoes on and get back on that dance floor.. Happy days to come.
I don’t really know where to start the kids dad picked them up earlier for a half day visit his choice and happened to mention that he’s applied for a divorce and the paperwork is on its way! Now ok we’ve been separated for the last near on 3 years and one would think I’d be full of joy but on the contrary I’m actually full of sadness not because I’m still in love with the man or that I want him back or even still have feelings for him it’s the fact the 10 years I gave him, the children I had for him, being disowned by my family for him, to leave my friends my home everything and to sign a bit of paper to throw all that away is so very hard to do I just don’t feel ready! I will sign it eventually in my own time but for now I have no intentions on doing so.. I need to cry it out then pull the curtains (which was once said by a very special friend of mine lol) and try to get on.
MERRY CHRISTMAS ANGE!!!
(Still at least my sense of humour is still in check)
I’m getting sick and tired of people on benefits being tarred with the same brush! All i see is bad press and bad comments about this issue People on benefits are on it for there own reasons most of us don’t spend our money on designer clothes, our hair, expensive jewellery, makeup, drink, drugs and clubbing like very small minded people think! The money we get which we are clearly entitled too is to help us with keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table, yea you could say well go out and work, with the cost of childcare and lack of suitable jobs there’s no chance! The only people that get this are the ones in the horrid situation of being left as single parents which 90% of the time isn’t out of choice and disabled people everyone else are so quick to criticise and belittle us! If we are entitled to benefits why not take it? That’s what it’s there for!! Angers me so much…
I’ve been raised with the mindset that a woman’s place is in the home which I totally stand by I’d rather be home and make sure I’m there for my children then be out until ungodly hours working my arse off for pittance while my kids run the streets!! No no no! If its there I’m gonna take it and know my kids are safe indoors with me there with them.