People on benefits..

I’m getting sick and tired of people on benefits being tarred with the same brush! All i see is bad press and bad comments about this issue People on benefits are on it for there own reasons most of us don’t spend our money on designer clothes, our hair, expensive jewellery, makeup, drink, drugs and clubbing like very small minded people think! The money we get which we are clearly entitled too is to help us with keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table, yea you could say well go out and work, with the cost of childcare and lack of suitable jobs there’s no chance! The only people that get this are the ones in the horrid situation of being left as single parents which 90% of the time isn’t out of choice and disabled people everyone else are so quick to criticise and belittle us! If we are entitled to benefits why not take it? That’s what it’s there for!! Angers me so much…

I’ve been raised with the mindset that a woman’s place is in the home which I totally stand by I’d rather be home and make sure I’m there for my children then be out until ungodly hours working my arse off for pittance while my kids run the streets!! No no no! If its there I’m gonna take it and know my kids are safe indoors with me there with them.

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Halloween so overrated

Don’t get me started on this most useless day of the year, why oh why are we so fascinated in a day that celebrates The devil, witches and the dead? The money that people spend on this day is absolutely ridiculous I mean come on people we’ve got bonfire night in a few days which again stupid people will go out an spend hundreds of pounds just to blow their money in the night sky then go on to moan they haven’t any money for Christmas then go on to blame the government lol!! Oh and what about the fancy dress? boys dressing as women which yes is very scary but women dressing up as sluts? I thought we got past that as i haven’t seen much slutty outfits but please what I saw the other day shocked me to the core! When i mean slutty i mean girls in underwear like lacy little numbers that would be more appropriate in Madame whiplash’s whore house, what the hell is dressing up as a slut got to do with halloween? seriously! I myself won’t be celebrating this day I refuse to open the door to anyone that knocks and yes I have put out a sign on the door, I’d rather sit in cosy up with my children and stuff our faces with the sweets I brought for us.. And what?? Lol.

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Man V Food

Ok I admit it I Love Man V Food program lol to think that only a week ago I was blasting it for being so disgusting that now I’ve actually got it on series record on sky. I blame my son and my dad as they love watching the program and its on most of the time (thats if my son isn’t embroiled in a game of FIFA 13 on the xbox) What has made me change my mind? Well it has to be the actual food and not the challenge of eating ridiculously hot sticky gooey food, it’s more to do with the immense variety of food and how they mix the flavours how they cook it up like the methods of cooking etc.. I would love to take up a challenge for me it would have to do with a slab of meat lol being a typical Turk we love our meats especially lamb so I have no doubt in my mind I’ll lick the plate clean lol, the worst bit of that program is when people get all the sauce around their mouth sometimes face OMG it makes me gag I can’t look I have to swiftly look away proper makes me feel sick but apart from that its actually quite a good watch.

Down Day…

Feeling kind of down today it doesn’t help that I’ve been suffering with back pain for over a week now, I’m one of these people that can’t deal with pain even the slightest amount I just can’t tolerate it I’m such a wuss lol. Would of been nice if I had someone to look after me but no such luck again I’m dealing with it on my own plus it makes things worse with having the kids off school as I can’t rest my back I have to be on the go most of the time, I’m popping pills like they’re going out of fashion but I’ll get there I’m sure it’ll get better soon enough. Looking forward to the day that I don’t ask for cuddles over a social network site and actually ask the man I’m with.

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Don’t say a word…

I get so frustrated when I can’t say what I want to say or share my thoughts the way I want too just so others don’t get upset or get things twisted or understand the wrong way, like I could say “I love you” only because at that moment I just feel the love but can’t really say it due to people thinking its actually specifically aimed at them or “I hate you” again the same thing happening.. Dunno it’s really difficult expressing myself as I don’t want to upset or hurt anyone or even give the wrong impression so choosing my words wisely is mainly on the agenda at the minute lol, the way I can express myself seems to be via song lyrics and those pictures you get on Facebook with meaningful words on them.. Here’s some that I like below

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I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, I fall so easily as well as hurt easy but like I say such is life…

Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Depression

Three words that have plagued me for most of my adult life! Anxiety, panic attacks and depression! (Well 4 words lol) From the age of 21 I’ve suffered mild forms of the above it didn’t really get bad until I fell pregnant with each of my children, I suffered with postnatal depression with each of my pregnancies it was very difficult times I had no support whatsoever be it emotional or medical I just soldier on with it! My ex wasn’t supportive actually looking back I got no support from him I was the rock throughout the marriage, I don’t want to slate the man I’m just being honest that’s exactly how it was very sad times indeed. I still suffer from panic attacks, I’ve learnt to deal with the depression and anxiety the worst bout of depression was in 2010 when I had two breakdowns due to my marriage breakdown, being left to raise 3 children completely on ones own is the most difficult job to do so when people say oh you dont work well in my eyes I do! I raise my children with no support and no help from anyone even family just me myself and I!! It wasn’t only my life that fell apart near on 3 years ago it was theirs too since then I’ve been picking up the pieces and rebuilding our lives.
I’m getting there 🙂 I’m happier then I have been for a long time more content, I still get my odd days when I do feel down but I’ve never let the depression beat me! I still have the odd panic attack but that’s when I get really riled up I can sort of control it when it happens although its horrible I do get over it.
The only advice I can give someone who suffers with depression is to seek help, is to open up to family and friends don’t suffer in silence there is help out there you just have to push for it in some cases, you will get through it you do get through it just believe in yourself.

Why West Ham?

Why West Ham? Well I’ve been a Chelsea supporter for the last 30 years (bloody hell that’s a long time) and due to their poor performance the last couple of years I really did fancy a change but didn’t really know which team to start supporting. I don’t really like any of the premiership teams so started to have a look at the lower league teams and came across the hammers 🙂 late 2011, now some people especially my brothers disagree with this but I wasn’t influenced in any way shape or form by anyone to support the hammers lol!!! Yes it’s true my neighbours support them and maybe a couple of friends but that’s it I chose them because they sparkled 🙂 beautiful performance near on every game and that’s what I like excitement in a football match keeps the fans on their toes that’s what it’s about for me, since being in the premiership they really are doing well but so far haven’t come up against the big clubs which is the real test! I’ve really wanted to go watch some home games but unfortunately not having anyone to go with is a problem, I did go watch some of the Chelsea and Tottenham games at their home grounds but haven’t been for years 😦 oh well there’s still hope maybe next season but for now instead of shouting from the terraces the referee is a wanker I tend to shout it from the comfort of my own home!! COME ON YOU IRONS

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